Note: This was written on May 23, 2011. Right after the presumed Rapture.
Another note: Written against a dose of Hiligaynon.
Too bad the world didn’t end, the journey continues. We have to face same struggle and shit while we wait for 2012. Yes, our seemingly unending desire to discover that gift Bob Dylan, Woody Allen, Van Gogh and Lester Bangs has been abundantly receiving all their lives. Fuck you dreams that just wont silence itself from screaming in the head of the reluctant people who deluded themselves with your grandeur.
Enough deep stuff kay indi man ta deep nagapadeep deep lang.
This is going to be a serious multidialect attack. Go eat shit with perfection, you grammar Nazi.
When did this whole “I’m special, I must be an artist” kachurvahan started, anyway? Siguro sang ginhambalan ka loser sang elementary ka. They just dont understand the things I do. Or maybe when you failed your Algebra sang first year high school ka. I have an illogical mind that only means I must be an artist. Nagsala ka gid kay si Descartes ang naghambal nga “I think therefore I am” sya man ang nag-obra sang planes nga rason kun ngaa bagsak ka sa Geometry. But then again just like all reality realizations, this too came later in your life.
Teh kay creative mind ang ginpili mo, maano ka? You cant sing like Stevie Nicks, not even Janis Joplin or fucking Joan Jett. And you’re not famous enough to harass record execs into producing you an album. You try to make friends with musicians because you share their lie of them being the coolest people in the universe and even the parallels. Well, bad news, even Jesus aint cool. You wont go far with them than a) watch them smoke b) join them smoke c) fuck them after you smoke. It’s not the 70’s or the fucking 80’s but that shit is still true. And so with a VERY FEW EXCEPTION rock n roll is still a dirty lifestyle. Dirtier than the garbage they left during free concerts. Dirtier than the puke your guts pushed out of your mouth while you kill your liver with alc. So gwa ka na nga daan samtang wala ka pa nag 27.
Kay you’re good enough for rock n roll(which seems to be the only real art in music form aside from Broadway) you dived into its darker twin universe, literature. So sobra mo nga basa you blurred the line between reality and the books. The sad part of literature is when life imitates art. That’s when all emotional hell breaks loose. Better see a shrink before you go all Edgar Allan Poe and shit. Try mo magsulat but writing is stubborn the more you push it the more it pulls away. Kun makasulat ka man wala man publisher, and the bad news is you’re not the good old sport, F. Scott Fitzgerald.
Damu ka na dayon crowd nasudlan, your attempt to transcend cultures has been too damn successful, that you went on to confuse yourself.
“Daw hippie ka hu.”
Mental protest dayon.
“Hippie man gid ko? Daw naligo man ko.”
You better wear a shirt that says “Punker than Johnny Ramone” that might silence labelling. You have emersed into a lot of stereotypes you became a cultural mongreal. Amu na to ang paggamu sang identity mo, the more you struggle for an individuality the more it gets out of your grasp. “Indi nyo ko pagpamangkota kun ano na nga kanta kay indi ako rakista.” But then again you cant tell that to people when you are wearing an AC/DC shirt.
Your angst is driving you so fucked up you need to scream “fuck you” at somebody. What’s a better rage absorber than of course the government. It’s the fucking Rage Against the Machine taken literal. It is easy to shout profanities at the government because they normally wont shout back at you. Instead they’ll take you to an institution, educate you and train you to be their enemy. People this is where your taxes went, well some of it. Kulang pa gid. Damu damu ka gid kaakig sa life. Religion naman eh kay gincage ka. Parents naman eh, kay they’re not the Lopezes. Until you realize you keep on blaming people and you’re never satisfied because the real person responsible of those fuckeries, is you.
This is the unromantic existence of a romantic.
Allyn: Maobra man ta ya movie ah.
Nonoy Jeffrey: May script ka na da aw?
Allyn: Ginahulat ko pa creative awakening ko ah.
Nonoy Jeffrey: Tapungulon ta ka bla para maawaken imu creativity.
Men, kinanglan ko tapungol, subong na.
PS: Just in case you are wondering what is the meaning of the word ‘churva’ here are some definition from Urban Dictionary.