I’ve always been a fan of kilig. My adventures and misadventures with kilig are much documented on this blog. However, in most recent months I have been romantically inclined to this one special person. This does not border to the “I want to marry you” kind of intentions but it is more of “your words always make me smile” kind of notions. Needless to say I have been getting doses of kilig through our regular banter and cute exchange of quips. I must say too much kilig has the tendency to be overtly disgusting but ours is being leveled by our little word quarrels that are oftentimes seal with us catching each others korni lines.
For starters, definition of terms:
Kilig: verb, adjective, noun; describes the feeling you get when a special person acts like they consider you the same way you consider them; is the act of getting those butterflies in your stomach that connects like electricity flowing through your veins making your face muscle stretch into a smile; is the actual feeling that makes you want to hug and bite your pillow in romantic excitement.
I could go on and on explaining what kilig is, but this video might explain it fairly well. Tom Hansen pretty much demonstrated the adjective, verb and noun meaning of the word.
Oh and korni, basically means corny. Same colloquial meaning all over the world.
Going back to the trail where the title is directing, I oftentimes do things that I assume will bring more kilig in my life. I would go as far as recreating scenes from my favorite romantic films. I often end up saying the lines and the other person not understanding me and will shun me up by saying korni. Which in return say things that I thought are cute in an attempt to redeem myself.
I am mental when it comes to liking a person. If I like a person I will like them no matter what other people think about him. I will still be there for him even though he is sucking all the happy emotions in my life and leaving me voided. Similarly, I can’t force myself to like a person. Never.
This blog came to me when I was telling my friend about how I walked a good 25 minutes only to find a comic book that I thought of giving to this special guy . I will be co-hosting a comic convention, his favorite artist will be there and I’m going to have the comic book signed and I will give it to him as a gift symbolizing how much I appreciate him adding a little kilig in my life, even though we both made it clear that we are just friends. After all, there is no rule stating that friends can’t have romantic feelings for each other. Anyway, I ended up at the bookstore not finding the comic book. And had to buy another book by the same artist. And quite frankly, I only said yes to the hosting offer so I can have the comic book signed. So, all of this in exchange of possible humiliation and impossible kilig moment.
I was kind of aiming for that scene in Seeking a Friend for the End of the World where Kiera Knightley knocks on Steve Carrell’s door and tells him “How can you let me go?”, because yes HOW CAN HE LET ME GO?
How can he let me go when I would willingly go beyond my way to see him smile back at me, that kind of smile that I imagine stamped on my face when he say things that make me smile. How can he let me go when he said I’m the only person who puts up with his eccentricity and his mood swings. How can he let me go when I never want him to.
See, I’m honestly not in love yet. This degree is not what I would consider love in my Richter Scale of love. This lacks the intensity. The last time I fell in love I did not hesitate to board a plane and see the person in a city I don’t know. When I fall in love, I become suicidal as a Japanese World War II pilot. Reevaluating this inevitable romantic feeling that is barely disguised as kilig, I might be in love with the idea of love and not with the person. That I’m very determined to find out.